Storm Cloud

Those of you that know me best are aware of my (sometimes) overly type A personality. Throughout my life I have kept a busy schedule, and usually I can handle juggling a lot of different things. Except for when I can't. And then I absolutely can't. Since coming to Honduras, I thought I had learned to let go, learned to relax, take care of myself, give myself a break. However, yesterday pushed me to the edge. The school day found me tired and stressed. I felt like my students were going to drive me crazy. After school brought Spanish lessons with unfinished (to be honest, I never started) homework. Not to mention I was in the kitchen both before and after lessons trying to get dinner ready. My list of stressors stretched on until I felt even more overwhelmed than before I wrote them down.

Then Kadian and I headed to the gym. I did not have time to go, but I knew I had to do something to relieve my stress. So I stormed all the way there like a porcupine, ready to lash out at anyone that rubbed me the wrong way. I kept thinking, 'How on earth am I supposed to dance? I don't even like myself right now. I am so tense and unhappy and stressed. How am I supposed to loosen up enough to dance when I don't even feel comfortable with myself?'

But somehow, I did and it was one of the best classes I've had. Endorphins. Can I get an 'Amen!'? Our bodies are amazing--thank you, God. Those stressors that were bothering me yesterday? A lot of them are still quite present; however, I am only doing as much as I can. Sometimes things just have to wait, and that's alright. God never asked me to be superwoman. He asked me to look to Him for my strength. I find it appropriate that our Bible verse for this week is,

           But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. II Corinthians 12:9 NIV
  
Although not all type A personality traits are bad, my tendency to let stress overtake me is definitely one of my weaknesses. Instead of allowing myself to feel worse, I am going to continue trying to let this struggle be a reminder that God's grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness. If you're ever feeling like a storm cloud, I hope you'll remember that God offers hope. Exercising and eating healthfully are just two common sense ways to help.