Annoyed.

I cannot pinpoint when it started, but somewhere along the way I became annoyed with learning Spanish. I just don't care right now! In church, it was all I could do to not completely zone out. Yesterday I did all my Spanish homework in the half an hour before my lesson started. My only reason for doing it was that I didn't want to see Dina look so terribly disappointed like she did the week before. Thursday, Cia and Nelly came home from the market excited about some movies they had found--in Spanish. The idea of watching a movie in Spanish--by choice--doesn't interest me in the least. I don't know what to do, but this is not good.

Two big problems exist with my current annoyance:

1. I don't try very hard to understand my many, many little students when they constantly talk at me, in Spanish. Teaching feels more frustrating.
2. The idea of getting more involved at church feels like a burden, because after all, it will have to be in Spanish. I do not look forward to church.

I know, I know. Language is key. Learning the language is the best way to connect with people. It's so valuable to learn a second language. Spare me.

Right now, I feel like teaching zaps ALL of my energy. The weekends don't even provide that much rest because they are full of cleaning, lesson planning, grocery shopping, and now my Sabbaths will be busier too. I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept for ten hours. How can I possibly still feel tired?

I keep trying to tell myself that it will be so hard to say goodbye when I leave. I keep trying to focus on the things I will miss. I keep trying to find joy in teaching. I even try to remind myself why I wanted to learn Spanish in the first place. But some days? I can't wait for June to be here.